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  boys-n-girls

  Aaron was the most popular boy in fifth grade. He continued to make noises in class, play ball outside of class, and get into mischief after school. He was still the fastest, and all the teachers knew him by first and last name—Aaron Barnes. The girls grew from hating him to adoring him.

  Aaron stood up to the older guys and protected his ground inside the schoolyard. He was silly, yet he had a maturity about him that no other boy in his grade possessed. And whenever he was calm and laid back, it caused confusion for the girls, who would swear they knew his every move.

  Aaron didn’t show any interest in girls, though. Girls were “stupid.” They were too talkative and petty, complaining all the time. They preferred to sit on benches and get in his way, which always pissed him off.

  The girls still liked him no matter what Aaron did. If one of them had Aaron’s heart, they could brag about it and quickly become the envy of all the other girls in the fifth grade. No one could fill a classroom with laughter like he did. He was their hero, with big bright eyes, chestnut-colored skin and wild, curly hair.

  Tracy shoved her girlfriend, Celena, during recess. “Go ahead and talk to him,” she said.

  Celena resisted. “No, girl. I’m scared.”

  They were all getting bigger, but they had maintained their same bench inside the schoolyard since first grade.

  “If you like him so much, what are you scared for?” Tracy asked her tall and lanky girlfriend.

  “Because. What if he don’t like me?” Celena responded.

  “Then he just doesn’t like you then.”

  “Well, you go talk to him.”

  “I don’t like him. Y’all the ones all after him.”

  “How come you don’t like him, Tracy?” Judy asked her.

  “I don’t know. I just don’t,” Tracy said.

  “You don’t think he’s cute?” Celena asked.

  “Yeah, he’s cute,” Tracy answered. “But so what?”

  “So you should want to make him your boyfriend. That’s what,” Judy said.

  “Why? Celena’s the one that likes him, not me.”

  “But you’re prettier than me, Tracy. He might like you,” Celena argued.

  Tracy sucked her teeth. “Aw, you’re just scared of him. I should go tell him that you like him.”

  “No, don’t do that, Tracy,” Celena said, nervously.

  They watched Aaron running around at recess, avoiding all the other boys. They all seemed too slow to tag Aaron. He moved quickly and accurately, like Tony Dorsett of the Dallas Cowboys.

  “See, he’s better than all of them,” Celena bragged.

  Tracy nudged her toward the field.

  “Go talk to him, then.”

  “No, because he’ll think that I like him.”

  “But you do like him.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t let boys know,” Celena said, matter-of-factly.

  “Why not?” Tracy demanded.

  “Because, if they know you like them, then they gon’ try to talk to you,” Pam spoke up.

  Tracy threw her hands on her hips. “Well, ain’t that what you want them to do?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but you don’t want them to chase after you,” Celena told her.

  “Why not?”

  “Because, girl, then they stop bein’ fun if they’re spendin’ all their time chasin’ you,” Judy said.

  “Oh. You mean like Tommy?” Tracy alluded.

  Celena smiled. “Yeah, like him.”

  They all laughed. Tommy was a pushover. He would do anything a girl told him.

  “Well, don’t you want the boys to talk to you?” Tracy asked Celena.

  “Sorta,” Celena answered.

  “What? What do you mean, sorta?”

  Pam stood up and explained it to her. “See, you want them to talk to you, but you don’t want them to act like they like you.”

  Tracy frowned at her. It all sounded ridiculous to her. “Who told you this stuff?”

  “My older sister. She got a boyfriend,” Pam said.

  “Well, who told her?”

  Pam sucked her teeth. “I don’t know, Tracy. Dag.”

  “Well, that stuff is stupid. Why wouldn’t you want to know that a boy likes you?”

  “Because, that takes away the fun of it. That’s like knowing what you’re getting for Christmas,” Judy put in.

  Tracy laughed at that one. “Well, I wanna get whatever I want for Christmas. And if I want me a boy wrapped up in big box, then that’s what I wanna get. And I could probably get it, too. But I don’t want no stupid boy.”

  Celena mumbled, “That’s because you’re spoiled.”

  “Yeah, your dad buys you anything you want,” Judy commented to Tracy.

  Tracy was proud of it. “That’s right,” she told them.

  • • •

  Tracy had her own house key. She was ten years old, and since they lived next door to Beth and Keith, Patti decided to give her that responsibility. Dave still hadn’t moved back in with them. He kept making excuses about his apartment being closer to his new job and whatnot. But he stayed over on most weekends.

  Tracy walked home with her girlfriends, still confused about the boy-versus-girl games. She figured if she liked a boy, she would go after him. If the boy didn’t respond to her, then he wasn’t worth her time anyway. Any boy would be dumb to turn her down, or at least so Tracy thought.

  She started wearing even nicer clothes. She had dressers and a closet full of different styles and colors. She could wear different things for almost a month. Being the only child was heaven.

  Although Tracy seemed to have everything she wanted, there remained a hollowness to be filled. Something was missing. She was running out of things to do to entertain herself. She was tired of sitting around the house asking her mother unanswered questions and watching television. She was bored. The only time she was happy was when her father came over. But Dave seemed to be spending more of his time with Patti. Tracy was a bit jealous of her mother since her daddy wasn’t home every day. There simply wasn’t enough of him to go around.

  Tracy thought she understood her father better since she was older. Her father didn’t want to be tied down. Even though he loved his wife and daughter, he needed his space. And Tracy figured if she couldn’t have her dad, then she’d find a substitute.

  “Hey, honey, I’m home,” Patti announced, peeking into Tracy’s room.

  Tracy sat on her bed, watching Woody Woodpecker.

  “Hi, mom,” she answered, glumly.

  “What’s wrong, honey? Why you look all down? Did something happen in school today?”

  “No, I’m just bored. It’s nothin’ to do.”

  “Well, guess what?” Patti perked. “Mommy has some good news.”

  “What?” Tracy asked her, curious.

  “I’m going to have a baby boy in about four months. That’s why mommy’s stomach is getting so big.”

  Tracy looked at her mother’s stomach. She had watched enough television shows to know that babies came from parent’s loving. “From being with dad, mom?” she asked with a grin.

  “Yeah, honey. Your father wanted to have a son.”

  Tracy gave her mother her undivided attention. “Does that mean he’s coming back?”

  Patti hesitated. She didn’t want to give her daughter any false expectations. “Well, we’re still working on that,” she answered carefully. “See, your daddy and I had to work out a plan where we can all be happy.”

  Tracy failed to see how that plan was working. She wasn’t all that happy. Nevertheless, she smiled and rubbed her mother’s stomach. “Is he gon’ look like daddy?” she asked.

  “He might, but I don’t know. He could come out light, dark, or like you.”

  “Dad said that God does it.”

  “Yeah, that’s just because you wouldn’t be able to understand it.”

  “Well, tell me then.”

  First Patti frowned. “Look now, I
don’t feel like it,” she said. Then she piped down and smiled. “But isn’t it great that you’re going to have a little brother?”

  Patti went to the kitchen to begin fixing dinner. Tracy thought over the news. A little brother could bring some entertainment to her life. He’d be cute and cuddly like the babies on TV. But he couldn’t be like her dad, if he was only a baby. It wouldn’t work. It would take too long for him to grow up, and he would always be younger than her. How could he answer any of her questions? She would always know more than he would. Tracy began not to like the idea. Babies always cried on TV. What if he turned out to be a big cry-baby.

  • • •

  The next day at school, Tracy wanted to know if Aaron really hated girls as much as they all thought he did. No girls really tried to talk to him. They just smiled and giggled whenever he walked by. No wonder Aaron didn’t like them. They were “stupid.” But not Tracy.

  She decided to break the norm and talk to a boy first. She didn’t like Aaron or any other boy. Tracy could care less if he liked her or not, as long as he responded to her.

  The bell rang to end class, and Tracy watched Aaron get his football from his locker. She followed him and his friends through the hallway and into the schoolyard. Her girlfriends watched her, all wondering what Tracy was up to.

  The boys began to play keep-away. When the ball finally landed near her, Tracy picked it up and tried to throw it back to Aaron.

  Aaron frowned at her. “What ’chew do that for, girl?” he asked her sternly.

  “ ’Cause, I just wanted to help.”

  “Aw, you can’t even throw, girl. How you gon’ help somebody?”

  “Teach me how to throw then,” she challenged him.

  “No,” Aaron said, walking away from her with his football in hand.

  Tracy followed him. “Why not?”

  “ ’Cause you a girl,” he told her.

  “So? I can learn to play if you teach me.” Tracy was optimistic about it. How hard could it be to catch and throw a ball? she figured.

  “You can’t catch. Girls don’t play football,” Aaron hissed at her.

  Tommy took the ball from him. “I’ll show you how to play,” he said, giving Tracy the ball. Tommy was light-skinned with reddish-brown hair and freckles.

  Tracy’s girlfriends moved in closer. They all wanted to join in, but the fear of embarrassment prevented them.

  “NO! I want Aaron to show me!” Tracy demanded. She was going to get what she wanted.

  The boys began to giggle, recognizing Tracy’s challenge to Aaron.

  “No, girl. Dag,” he said, taking his ball back.

  Tracy hated him. She vowed that he would teach her to play catch if it was the last thing he did. Aaron had survived that round, but he would give in eventually, Tracy was sure of it. But at that moment, as she walked back toward her girlfriends, all she felt was hatred for him.

  “What did ’ju say to them?” Celena asked excitedly.

  “Nothin’! I hate that boy!” Tracy fumed.

  “But what did you say?” Celena persisted.

  “I asked him to teach me to play football.”

  “Why you ask him that?” Judy butted in.

  “I don’t know, girl.”

  “See, I told you not to let them know that you like them,” Celena reminded her.

  Tracy was quickly getting annoyed. “Shet up, Celena, because I don’t even like him.”

  Celena backed down.

  Then Pam asked, “So why you go to talk to him then?”

  “ ’CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT!” Tracy snapped, squaring off in Pam’s face.

  They all teamed up on Tracy.

  “You don’t have to get all mad at us, just because he don’t like you,” Judy said.

  “I don’t like him either!” Tracy shouted, balling up her fists in frustration. A gathering crowd pushed Pam into her. Tracy lashed out with a barrage of punches. She was a girl, but she played boxing with her dad, so she was good at using her fists.

  Tracy was suspended three days for fighting. Patti was furious that evening. She had received a call at work about her daughter beating up a girl at recess. Patti had just been telling her companions at work how much of an angel her daughter was. She lied and said that Tracy had fallen ill at school when she received the call. “It was probably an upset stomach or something,” Patti told them. She couldn’t stand being embarrassed. Her sisters had embarrassed Patti throughout her life.

  “What the hell is your problem, girl?” she huffed at her daughter once she had gotten home with her.

  “It wasn’t my fault, mom, she was picking with me,” Tracy whined.

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know. She just doesn’t like me,” Tracy answered, lying herself. She held her hands in her lap, twitching nervously and refusing to look at her mother.

  “You look at me when I’m talking to you!” Patti told her. Tracy looked up for an instant, hunching her shoulders in fear. “Now you’re telling me that this girl picked on you for no reason? Is that what you’re telling me?”

  “Y-e-e-e-s.”

  Patti threw her hands to her hips. “Go on upstairs, girl, and do your homework. And you get no TV for the rest of this week.”

  Tracy was disappointed with all the trouble she had gotten into, just to find out why some “dumb boy” didn’t like girls. She hated boys even more, with reason. She wished she had never been curious about it. Aaron was immature after all. He was no better than the rest of the boys. Yet he did tell her “no.” No one had ever turned Tracy down.

  During one of her days home from school, Tracy played with her cousin Marcus while staying over at her Aunt Joy’s house. Marcus was two years old and fun to play with. After being with him, Tracy felt delighted that she would soon be having a little brother of her own.

  Tracy hadn’t seen some of her cousins for years. Their number had increased to ten. Tracy had only been with two of her four new cousins. They were all boys, except a baby girl that Marsha had had.

  “Can I help you, Aunt Joy? My mom lets me help her,” she asked her aunt inside of the kitchen. Joy’s older children were off at school.

  “No, I’m almost finished,” Joy told her, stirring dark brown beef gravy. “So why were you fighting yesterday, princess?” her aunt asked her.

  “Because, this girl was teasing me.”

  “She was teasing you? What was she teasing you about?”

  “Because,” Tracy said with a helpless grin. Her aunt was trying to get the truth out of her.

  “Oh, I’m beginning to see now,” Joy responded.

  “See what?” Tracy quizzed her.

  Joy smiled at her with shiny white teeth. “You were fighting over a little boy,” she said.

  “No I wasn’t,” Tracy quickly responded, startled by it.

  “Come on now, Tracy, you can tell me. I won’t tell your mother,” Joy promised her.

  Tracy giggled, covering her mouth to hide it. “I wasn’t trying to talk to that boy.”

  “Mmm hmm, I know you were. I was trying to do the same thing when I was young,” her aunt said.

  Tracy gave in. “Well, I didn’t like him anyway.”

  Joy chuckled. “Yup, those little boys can tear your heart out, but no girl can live without them.”

  “I can,” Tracy proudly announced. “I’m not ever gonna talk to another boy again.”

  Tracy was not allowed to return to school until Monday. She felt like a new student when she had returned. Everyone was ahead of her in class assignments as if she had been left behind. Even the smell in the hall seemed different. And everyone was staring at her.

  Curious students whispered about her as she walked through the halls. Her mother had told her to ignore them, but it was aggravating. Tracy wanted to lash out and finish off the entire hallway. But then she would end up suspended again.

  Tracy was unusually quiet in class. She was silent at recess as well. Her friends were scared to talk to
her. They all figured she was still mad about Aaron not teaching her to play football, so they sat and watched without speaking. Pam made sure she went nowhere near Tracy.

  Tommy stopped playing football to talk. He smiled at Tracy and said, “I heard you beat up Pamela.”

  “Yup, that’s why I got suspended last week,” Tracy told him, pleased that someone was willing to talk to her.

  “Well, if you still wanna play football, I’ll teach you.”

  “Okay,” Tracy said, forgetting that she hated boys.

  Tommy had a red-headed temper, but he was sweet when he wanted to be. The other boys dared not to say anything about him taking the ball to play with her. They all mumbled under their breaths.

  Tommy and Tracy played catch all through recess. Tracy’s friends watched, hesitantly. Anything could trigger Tracy’s wrath. None of them were willing to take that chance.

  Tommy even walked Tracy home after school. He was as nice as any boy could be. Tracy started to like him. He was wonderful. She had no idea that a boy could be so friendly and understanding toward girls. He then sat outside of her house with her. Tracy felt like she was grown. Talking to Tommy was relaxing.

  After going in the house, Tracy went up to her room and dozed off as she watched Tom & Jerry. Then suddenly she was shocked to attention, sitting up wide awake in her bed.

  I forgot about something, she thought to herself, frantically. Or did Iforget to do something? No! I forgot to see somebody.

  Tracy stared at her television trying to remember what it was. Something was missing from their normal school day and she couldn’t figure it out.

  “AARON!” she yelled at her television. “Aaron Barnes wasn’t in school today,” she reminded herself. Her little heart began to patter. No wonder school had been so dull. Aaron made school exciting. Without him, there was little to talk about and nothing to remember.

  Tracy grew restless. She knew she had to face him. She couldn’t get Aaron Barnes off of her mind. In her daydream, she imagined him teaching her to play football. It was the strongest feeling that Tracy had felt for anyone besides her father. And it was the first dream she had had of any boy. Aaron Barnes was it! Tracy Ellison had been bitten by the love bug.