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Page 4
“Stop, mommy,” Tracy whined.
“Don’t you want the ice cream, baby?”
Tracy dropped her head back into the seat. “No, I wanna go to sleep.” Patti got Paul to pick her up and walk her around, despite Tracy’s protest.
Patti wasn’t quite ready for her date to end. It was only eight o’clock.
They all sat with their sundaes at a small window-view table, where Tracy watched cars zip past on the highway.
“Mommy, I wish he had a car like that,” she said, pointing at a red 911 Porsche, parked outside.
Paul chuckled. “Wow, she has expensive taste for a little girl, doesn’t she?” he said to Patti.
“I’m not a little girl,” Tracy responded to him. She started to kick her feet under the table while eating her sundae. She accidentally kicked Paul.
“What’s wrong with you, girl? Stop that!” Patti yelled, grabbing her daughter’s feet.
“That’s okay, she didn’t mean it,” Paul interjected.
Tracy gave him an evil stare. “I gotta go pee,” she said.
“You have to use the ladies’ room,” Patti sternly corrected her. She then rushed, hand in hand with her daughter, to the bathroom, leaving behind the half-finished sundaes.
Patti turned Tracy around by the shoulders once they had entered the bathroom. “What’s wrong with you, girl?”
Tracy stared down at her patent leather shoes. “I don’t like him. I wanna go home.”
Patti looked startled. “He’s a nice man, honey. Why don’t you like him?”
“Because he gets on my nerves.”
“He hasn’t done anything to you, girl,” Patti said, looking into Tracy’s eyes. “Well, do you have to go or what?”
“N-o-o, I just wanna go h-o-o-me.”
Patti sighed and led her daughter back to the melted sundaes at their table. “Look, Paul, she wants to go home. I’m sorry about this.”
Paul nodded to her. “Don’t worry about it. I know how kids can get,” he said, setting a dollar tip on the table.
Tracy reached out to take the money.
“Put that back, girl!” Patti shouted at her.
Tracy cracked a mischievous smile. “I was just playin’.”
Patti snatched her by the hand. “Now you’re getting on my nerves. You’re eight years old, and still acting like a spoiled baby.”
Tracy giggled and climbed into the car for the long ride home. Patti knew that Paul had failed. Tracy didn’t like him. It was unfair, but there was nothing that Patti could do about it. She would have to turn Paul down. Tracy didn’t seem to like any of her mother’s dates. And she definitely was not ready for anyone to take the place of her father.
“How ’bout we do this again sometime?” Paul asked when they arrived at Patti’s front door. She had never invited a man inside of the house. Dave was still paying the bills, and Patti gave him that respect.
She answered Paul with knifing eyes, “I’m sorry, but I really don’t think so.”
“Well, we’ll just leave the girl home next time,” Paul suggested.
Patti unlocked the door. Paul tried to follow her in after Tracy. Patti glared back at him, stopping him before he strutted in. “And what are we gonna do, have a relationship without my daughter being involved?” she piped at him.
“No, I’m not saying that, but you and I need a little more time alone before we can work things out with her.”
“No, that’s all right,” Patti said. She wished to end the date as quickly as possible, but Paul was making it difficult.
“Well, okay, I had a nice time. How ’bout you?” he asked, still appearing cheerful.
“Please, let’s not get into this,” Patti told him. “I have to think about things before I decide to go out with you again. And I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
Paul nodded and said, “Okay,” as Patti slowly closed the door on him. He paced to his car, finally pissed off. “Damn kid!” he mumbled as he headed down the walkway.
Patti shook her sleepy daughter from the couch. “Wake up, girl, and go on upstairs to bed,” she huffed.
“What, mommy?”
“You’ve just ruined my night, girl, that’s what.”
“You wanted me to g-o-o.”
“You still didn’t have to act like you did, Tracy.”
Tracy struggled to her feet and began a sullen walk up the stairs.
Patti calmed herself as she followed her. Tracy’s comment surprised her, but she was right. Patti had wanted her daughter to test the man, and he had failed. Plain and simple.
“Ay Mercedes, come here for a second,” the boy named Kevin called from behind. He always wore a baseball hat shoved down on his smooth, dark-brown face, right above his thin eyebrows. Kevin lived across the street. Mercedes had watched him playing football in the street with his friends for years.
“So you ’sposed to be talkin’ to my boy Wallace?” he asked her.
“No, I don’t like him,” she answered with a frown. “Why?”
“Because, I wanted your phone number,” Kevin told her nervously. He had watched her over the years as well.
“I can’t give out mine. But I can take yours, though.”
Kevin wrestled out a piece of paper and a pencil from his book-bag. “That’s a bet,” he said, writing his number down.
“Umm, Kevin, don’t tell your friend that I don’t like him, because I don’t want him getting all mad at me. Okay?” Mercedes asked him. She was well aware of how boys acted when they were rejected. Her father had been a good example of that. Keith had fits all the time. Everything had to be his way.
“Oh, aw’ight. But when you gon’ call me?” Kevin said to her.
“Tonight.”
“Oh, bet. Like what time?”
“Like around eleven-thirty, when my father goes to sleep.”
“What, you can stay up that late? I thought you had to go to sleep early.”
Mercedes smiled at him, bashfully. “I do, but that’s the only time that I can talk to you without my parents jumpin’ down my back, because they’re real strict and all.”
Kevin smiled. “So you gon’ risk getting caught to call me? Oh, I must be the man then.”
“Yup,” Mercedes told him with a laugh. “So you’re gonna be up?”
“Yeah, I’ll be up.”
Mercedes grinned. “All right then, I’ll call you.”
Kevin nodded and said, “Cool.”
Mercedes walked into the house, smiling from ear to ear. She wanted to show her father that he could not rule her life. She had done everything that he had asked, and was still punished, getting beatings with her younger sister. Mercedes despised her father. And if Keith had anything to say about her boyfriends, she vowed to make his life as miserable as he had made hers.
Mercedes called Kevin that night and the other nights that followed. She began to smoke cigarettes in school with her girlfriends, buying Wrigley’s chewing gum to hide the smell. She collected more phone numbers from neighborhood boys who were attracted to her. She turned down most of the “Catholic-school boys.” Mercedes wasn’t interested in them. And in a matter of weeks, she had met enough new boys to become an item.
“Hello . . . Kevin,” she whispered on the phone.
“Yo, it’s me. What’s up, girl?” he answered, watching the late-night Benny Hill Show. “Ay, tomorrow there’s no school. Can’t talk to me regular?”
“Unt unh. I’m still supposed to be in bed, even if we do have off from school tomorrow,” Mercedes told him.
“Dag, that’s messed up.”
“Ain’t it though? That’s why I hate my father.”
“What ’chew gon’ do tomorrow?” Kevin asked her.
“I don’t know. Why?” Mercedes quizzed, having a good idea of what was coming next.
“You wanna come see me tomorrow?”
“I don’t care,” she whispered.
Kevin then fell silent as he thought of a fantastic idea. “Do you ha
ve any dogs in your driveway?” he asked her.
“No,” Mercedes whispered.
“Are you still dressed?”
“Unt unh.”
“How long would it take you to get dressed?”
Mercedes grimaced. “Why?”
“ ’Cause, you could sneak around to my basement through the driveway, if you’re not scared to.”
“I’m not scared,” Mercedes told him. She felt sneaky excitement, like an actor in a spy movie. The enemy was her father.
“Well, are you down or what?” Kevin challenged her.
Mercedes thought about it. Just do it, girl. Say, Yeah, she told herself. “Yeah, I’m coming. Give me like twenty minutes.”
“For real, you comin’?” Kevin asked her. He was surprised. He was just trying his luck. He didn’t really think that she would sneak over to his house at night.
“Yeah, I’m serious,” Mercedes assured him.
Kevin cracked a broad smile. “Aw’ight then. I’m gon’ open the back door for you.”
Mercedes hung up the phone. She tiptoed back to her room, put on some loose jogging pants with her white uniform blouse and a jacket. She walked into the bathroom and flushed the toilet to muffle her escape. She then snuck down into her basement and out of the door, making sure she kept it cracked so she could re-enter. She sprinted around back, filled with elation, and got to Kevin’s. Kevin was at his door, grinning like a cartoon cat, awaiting her arrival.
“I thought you was jokin’,” he whispered.
“Nope, I told you I was coming,” Mercedes said.
Kevin’s baseball cap was off, and for the first time Mercedes could glimpse his hair.
“You got a nice haircut,” she commented. “Why you wear your hat all the time?”
“I take it off in school, but when I’m out on the street, I always wear a hat. I’on know why, it’s just my thing. I like hats.”
“Oh,” Mercedes responded, forcing herself not to seem nervous. Oh my God, I’m in his house! she panicked. She noticed that Kevin looked even better with his hat off. He was a handsome teenager, wearing a high fade haircut with a long part on the left side.
Kevin walked over to her and unzipped her jacket. Mercedes didn’t move to stop him like she wanted. “What, ’chew scared or something?” he asked, sensing her tension.
“No I ain’t,” she lied to him as he rubbed his hand up her lower back.
Mercedes was a well-developed thirteen. She got her pert body from her mother.
Kevin began to caress her breasts through her uniform blouse and leaned over to kiss her. But Mercedes didn’t know how to kiss. She puckered her lips to his as she thought it was supposed to be done. Kevin then moved her toward the couch.
Mercedes rubbed up and down his back as Kevin ran his fingers through her smooth, long hair. He then unbuttoned her shirt, unclipped her bra and began to kiss her nipples.
Mercedes was quickly aroused. Kevin dropped to the floor on his knees and pulled down her clothes. Mercedes then went for his shirt, to undress him. Kevin, stripped naked, laid overtop of her in a push-up position. He struggled to guide himself in.
Mercedes whispered, “It hurts, Kevin.” She moaned, quietly, as her nails began to scrape his back. And then it felt good to her, the friction and the increased energy. Her body loosened and folded in on Kevin as she squeezed him.
“Do it feel good?” he asked her, breathlessly. He made note to be as gentle as he could with her. He knew that Mercedes was a virgin. She had never had a boy even kiss her before him.
“Yeeeahh,” she moaned.
Kevin increased his speed, beginning to lose control. He flexed and sucked in air as his body jerked uncontrollably. Then suddenly he pulled himself from her and grabbed the towel that he had set on the floor alongside the couch.
Mercedes watched him as he strained and breathed, crazily. And she was upset that he had stopped.
“Why you do that?” she asked him.
Kevin looked at her, confused. “You don’t wanna get pregnant, do you?” he asked her with a frown.
Mercedes shook her head as he climbed back on the couch with her. “No,” she told him.
“Well, I had to pull out. I ain’t go no rubbers.”
“Oh,” Mercedes responded, realizing she had a lot to learn about sex.
“That was good as shit though,” Kevin told her. Mercedes began to smile as he cuddled her. She leaned up and kissed his pretty brown face, sparkling inside and planning on “doing it” with Kevin again, and as much as possible.
“Mommy, why do I have to go over Mr. Keith’s house?” Tracy pouted.
“Because I’m going out.”
“Aw, you don’t want me to go?”
“No, because it’s Friday, and I’m not coming home no time soon. All you’re gonna do is mess up my date and fall asleep,” Patti said, grabbing her purse.
“No I’m not, mom. I promise. Ple-e-ease,” Tracy pleaded.
“No! Get your jacket and bag. I am not taking you with me,” her mother persisted.
“Aw, see, I was gonna be good, too,” Tracy said with a long face.
Patti chuckled. “You’re a trip, girl.”
They walked next door, hand in hand.
“Beth, I’m gonna let her spend the night, because I don’t know how long I’m going to be out, and she’s only gonna mess up my date. Is it okay?” Patti asked.
“Sure,” Beth told her. “We’re not going anywhere. I haven’t been out, except for the movies, in a long time,” Beth said with a grin.
“Well, girl, you better do something before you start to rust in here.”
Tracy ran up the steps to play in Raheema’s room.
“What are you doing here?” Raheema asked her.
“My mom said I could spend the night.”
“She did? Y-a-a-a-y! We can play all night then,” Raheema cheered.
“No we can’t, ’cause Mr. Keith gon’ make us go to bed,” Tracy argued.
Raheema piped down. “I know. But we can play when he thinks we’re sleeping,” she plotted.
“Where your sister at?” Tracy asked her.
“In her room, sleeping.”
They went into Mercedes’ room. Mercedes was stretched out. She reminded Tracy of Snow White. Tracy decided that maybe Mercedes had been dreaming about boys and needed a kiss to wake her.
Tracy looked into Mercedes’ face. It was expressionless. Mercedes did not toss and turn, make noises or anything. Her hands were firmly grasped around her pillow, as if she had fallen asleep thinking of holding someone.
The two little ones left and went back to Raheema’s room.
“She pro’bly dreamin’ ’bout a boy,” Tracy said.
“Yeah, that ugly boy who was out there talking to her,” Raheema responded.
“No, it’s not him, Ra-Ra. Mercedes don’t like him.”
“Well, that’s the only boy she talks to.”
“You don’t know, Ra-Ra, ’cause you don’t see who she knows in school.”
“So, she probably don’t talk to nobody in school.”
“Shet up, ’cause you don’t know nothin’. You still a baby,” Tracy snapped.
“I’m older than you. My birthday is before yours. Now!” Raheema retorted.
“So, Ra-Ra, you still act like a baby.”
The two faced off, and neither would back down.
“You can’t beat this baby,” Raheema challenged.
“You wanna bet?”
Tracy slapped Raheema in the face. Raheema tripped on her toys and bumped her head on her low-leveled bedpost. She immediately screamed out in pain.
Keith, just in from work, ran into her room, followed by his wife.
Beth catered to her daughter. Keith looked to Tracy for an explanation.
“What the hell is goin’ on in here?” Keith asked, sternly.
Tracy cringed, but she hinted a smile. “We was fighting.”
Beth noticed Tracy’s gleeful expression
and said, “You could have hurt her real bad, Tracy. That’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Beth. I just got mad, that’s all.”
“Well, where the hell is Mercedes? She should have been in here watching them anyway,” Keith shouted.
“She, she in her room, sleeping,” Raheema stuttered, wiping tears from her eyes.
“She’s sleeping?” Keith asked, baffled. “Is she sick or something?” he asked his wife.
“No, but she’s been sleeping all day,” Beth answered.
Everyone followed Mr. Keith into Mercedes’ room to see what was wrong with her. Keith clicked on the light and woke her up. Beth, Raheema and Tracy looked in from the door.
“Wake up, girl! Are you sick or somethin’?”
Mercedes wiped out her eyes with closed fists. “No, I’m just tired,” she muttered.
“You’re tired? Girl, you didn’t even have school today. What ’chew do to be so tired?”
Mercedes squinted her eyes from the glaring light. “I’on know.”
“Well, get up. It’s time to eat,” her father told her. “And you make sure these kids don’t get in any more fights.”
Mercedes felt overjoyed about her secret. Keith didn’t seem as smart as he used to be. He wasn’t as scary either. He thought he had everything uptight, but Mercedes had proved him wrong.
She ate dinner silently. She washed the dishes, pondering over her passive mother. Beth had allowed her father to be God in their house. He’s not God, Mercedes thought to herself.
She cleaned the floor, the kitchen table and the refrigerator without a complaint. She then watched television, ignoring Raheema and Tracy. They contributed to her torture. Mercedes was beginning to hate them as well.
She wondered how Keith became her dad in the first place. He was too damned mean to have a woman like her mother. What did she see in him? she asked herself. He doesn’t even act like he likes us. All Keith seemed to do was pay the bills and control their lives.
Patti stayed out late. She picked her daughter up early Saturday morning. Tracy didn’t bother to ask her mother how her date went. She daydreamed about her daddy coming over to see them. Dave hadn’t been to see them in a few months. He mailed Tracy’s allowance checks to the house religiously, but Tracy wanted badly to see him. Dave added the needed spice to her young life.